Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Thanksgiving 2005

Email exchange with client

JC: Well, if you knew how I'd spent Thanksgiving, you'd probably credit me with being a true American. I had a turkey dinner last Thursday in a trailer park (Cardiff Beach State Park - Encinitas) playing poker, drinking Coors Lite, watching football and learning the names of Nascar drivers.

Client: Whoa. Coors Lite in a trailer park and learning the names of NASCAR drivers?? With that you’ve descended from “sophisticated English gentry”, flown past “true American” and inadvertently landed at “unabashed redneck”! Sorry, but those traditions just don’t carry the same allure as those of a Charles Dickens Christmas in England, or better yet a Monty Python Christmas (if there is such a thing).

“You can’t call yourself King just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!!”

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Top ten job offers

10. Outdoor adventure tour guide through Ecuador, Peru & Bolivia
9. Host of British sports trivia show "A question of sport"
8. Snow White in Columbia Pictures summer blockbuster movie - seven dwarfs to be played by Brad Pitt, Nick Lachey, Tom Cruise, Dave Matthews, Kiefer Sutherland, Lance Armstrong, Ryan Sutter
7. Official *esperanto* interpreter for European Union, Brussels
6. Wrench for Team CSC or Discovery Channel
5. Manchester United team masseuse
4. Body double for Julianne Moore
3. Lecturer in European history at Stanford
2. Assistant swim coach at UC Irvine
1. The next Bachelorette

Your Career Type: Conventional

You are orderly and good at following a set plan.
Your talents lie in working with written records and numbers in a systematic, orderly way.

You would make an excellent:

Bank Teller - Bookkeeper - Court Clerk
Mail Carrier - Post Office Clerk - Secretary
Timekeeper - Title Examiner - Typist

The worst career options for your are artistic careers, like comedian or dancer.

I didn't like the first answer so I did the career blogthing again, subtlely changing my answers...
Your Career Type: Realistic

You are practical and mechanical.
Your talents lie in working with tools, mechanical or electrical drawings, machines, or animals.

You would make an excellent:

Carpenter - Diesel Mechanic - Electrician
Farmer - Fire Fighter - Flight Engineer
Forester - Locksmith - Locomotive Engineer
Pilot - Police Officer - Truck Driver

The worst career options for your are social careers, like social worker or teacher.